Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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