..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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