Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
