My underwear smells like fireworks.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
