At least make sure they are 18
Why
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
