the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
