She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Randomize