before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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