i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
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