Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
