I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
