Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
