the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
