oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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