Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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