I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
