So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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