Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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