Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize