He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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