I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
We are all done wearing pants today
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
