you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
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