You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
