best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
