how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
