No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
