I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I wish you could order shots online.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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