Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
