no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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