I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I wish i was in the wii world.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize