Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
