belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
People in love make me want to vomit
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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