so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
