No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
