A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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