READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
