All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
