that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
