I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
