Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
