how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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