i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
