As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize