You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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