i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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