ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize