Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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