I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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