I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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