She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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