the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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