YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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