dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I will pee on everything he values.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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