there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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