They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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