you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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