? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
