That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
