He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
