Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize